Thinking of Leaving or Divorce: Part 2
Is Leaving or Divorce an option?
Many don’t realise it takes on average seven years for a blended family to achieve stability and function as a unit. If you stick at it you’ll reap the rewards. Blending families requires time and effort but can bring joy and fulfilment when you have a plan to unite your family together. You DO have control over the final outcome.
It's natural to enjoy the good times in a relationship, but the real strength of a partnership often shows during the challenging moments which will come, no matter who you choose to share your life with.
In a committed relationship, it's important to learn how to navigate the difficult times together. I know that’s not typically easy, but at some point you saw something truly meaningful in your partner that led you to make that commitment.
Relationships are always evolving, and they require ongoing care and effort. Even couples who’ve been together for decades continue to grow and work on their connection. There's no magical point where everything becomes effortless—supporting each other through both the highs and lows is really what it's all about.
If you're feeling uncertain, it might be helpful to reflect not just on your partner, but on whether a long-term commitment or marriage is something that truly aligns with what you want.
Commitment has two important sides. The first is the conscious choice to honor the promise you've made to stay by your partner's side for the long haul.
The second part is more about the heart. It’s the emotional commitment to nurture the relationship and to keep working toward something meaningful and fulfilling together. This means choosing, again and again, to invest your time, energy, and care, not just into the relationship itself, but also into being the best partner you can be.
I say to those who attend my workshops, you’ll never be a perfect person or partner (or parent for that matter), but you can be a PURPOSEFUL person and partner. You can set some realistic goals for your relationship and work purposefully towards these. For example, your goal might be to improve emotional intimacy or the way you resolve conflict.
There's more incentive to stay if you believe your relationship is worth the fight, but what if you're just holding on by a thread?
If the feeling of “love” has gone...
You can rekindle old romantic feelings you once shared. If they were there before, they may just be buried beneath the weight of life's challenges. Don’t let your feelings alone justify your decision to leave a relationship. Instead use them as a guide to identify what needs to heal or change to create a more fulfilling connection. This is pretty tough but I’m also convinced your relationship can succeed if you’re willing to give it the chance it deserves.
To have someone choose to walk through life with you, is a wonderful gift so why not make every effort to ensure your relationship thrives.
The thing is, it can be pretty lonely when you’re going through the tough times but I can give you an alternative to struggling along on your own. Tough times are certain but what really matters is how you get through them and that’s where I can guide you.
If you want your relationship to succeed, I’d love to help you, just Click Here
Be encouraged, blending does require time and effort but with some planning and sensitivity around key issues, can bring you and your family much joy and fulfillment.
Kindest wishes
Adele C
Author, Presenter, Blended Family Coach & Relationship Therapist
BSW, NZCEFT, MSWRB
p.s. If you'd just like the opportunity to talk your experience through with someone who understands your pain, supports you to heal and gives you direction and focus. I'm here to help. Why not book a coaching session. You'll find more details when you Click Here
p.p.s. If you haven't already entered your name and email below, do it now so we can keep in touch. I look forward to assisting you on your journey!
Adele Cornish