Feeling Resentment Towards a Stepchild
Have you ever been distant towards your stepchildren or not very nice at times? See if you can relate to this comment I received:
“My stepson comes over every weekend. I go to my room and stay away from him…I can’t stand him…Things he does, says, just drives me away…What is my deal with him??? I really don’t understand why I feel so much hatred toward him.”
Resentment often stems from the extra work, time and effort stepchildren require and feeling the need to compete with them for your partner’s attention. There could be a personality clash or they might just be a strong reminder of a difficult ex. Regardless of the reason, these feelings can cause you to shut them out of your heart and life if you let them.
Now here’s the good news: you don’t have to let these feelings rule your behavior. I asked the stepparent above to identify some positive things she appreciated about her stepson. She came up with two points – a great effort given her feelings. I went on to say…
& Relationship Coach
“You can’t change him, the only thing you can change is your attitude towards him so it starts with you. If you feed your mind on the negative, the hate you feel will only get worse.” I asked her to find one thing to compliment him on, just one, and to email me back and tell me how she felt after doing that.
She emailed back saying she had initiated some positive interaction and in her words, “It felt great” and for a moment in time the hate left.
Don’t wait for your negative feelings to change before taking a step in the right direction. Focus on the good traits, keep initiating positive interaction and it will help your feelings improve.
If you've had enough trying to cope with these strong feelings on your own, I'm here to help. Check out how I work personally with you to overcome the struggles you face Click Here